


nothing to lose and a world to see

by splendidlyimperfect



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Gray speaks French because reasons, Gray thinks he's straight but he's not, Holding Hands, Holidays, M/M, Mutual Pining, Natsu falls in love hard, Paris (City), Romance, Romantic Fluff, Strangers to Lovers, Trans Character, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2020-07-19 21:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19980748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/splendidlyimperfect/pseuds/splendidlyimperfect
Summary: When Gray's girlfriend dumps him right before Christmas, he's stuck with a non-refundable, three-week holiday to Paris. Without another choice, he agrees to go with a stranger - a man who is remarkably charismatic, and a lot cuter than Gray is willing to admit. It's supposed to be platonic (Gray's straight, right?), but Paris isn't called the City of Love for nothing.





	1. an awkward introduction and an inconvenient crush

**Author's Note:**

> This whole story was inspired by [this](http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/18/travel/canada-ex-girlfriend-world-trip/index.html) news story, because it was the perfect trope. 
> 
> Written for [Nonbinary Month 2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/NonbinaryMonth2019) (Natsu + Trans)
> 
> Find me on tumblr as [@splendidlyimperfect](https://splendidlyimperfect.tumblr.com/) ^-^

“Gray, if you don’t stop moping, I’m going to have to kick your ass.” 

Gray groans, tipping his head back against the couch and looking at Cana upside-down. She gestures to the mess of takeout containers around him, rolling her eyes. 

“Get your shit together, man,” she says, flopping down on the couch next to him. “I know you feel like crap, but at least take a shower.” 

Gray rubs his eyes, sitting up and reaching for his coffee mug. When he realizes it’s cold, he makes a face. 

“I didn’t ask you to come over here,” he grumbles, glaring at Cana over the top of the mug as he drinks the cold coffee anyway. “If you don’t like how I’m coping, feel free to leave.” 

“You’re _not_ coping,” Cana says, flicking his forehead. “And as your sister, I have a duty to drag you out of this wallowing mess and make you less miserable.” Gray scowls at her. “C’mon, it’s been a month. She wasn’t even that nice!” 

“Suki was perfectly nice,” Gray protests, but there isn’t much energy in his voice. “And that’s not…” He trails off, shaking his head. 

“That’s not what?” Cana asks, frowning and pulling her legs up under her. 

Gray sighs, digging through the pile of blankets around him until he finds his phone. He flicks through a few messages, then hands it to Cana. Her eyes widen as she reads the e-mail. 

“Okay, now I _really_ wanna kill her,” Cana growls. “You were gonna take her on holiday?” 

“Mm.” Gray flops back against the cushions. “Three weeks. She’d always said she wanted to go to Paris, and I’d been looking for tickets – they popped up on that super discount site, so I grabbed them. I was gonna take her for Christmas.” 

“Well now you can take me!” Cana says. Gray shakes his head. 

“They won’t let me change the name on the ticket,” me says. “One of those ‘non-refundable-fine-print-blah-blah-blah’ things.” 

Cana looks down at the e-mail again, then back at Gray with a grin on her face. 

“You’ll just have to find someone else with the same name!” she says excitedly. 

“Have to… what?” Gray frowns at her. 

“The same name!” Cana exclaims. “If you can’t change the name on the reservation, find someone else with the same name to go with you!” 

“You mean… a stranger?” Gray asks. He rubs his temples, yawning. It’s too early to deal with Cana’s exuberance. “Why would I want to do that?” 

“Because it’s an _adventure,”_ Cana insists. “And it’s either that, or spend Christmas with me and Lucy.” 

Gray takes his phone back from Cana and considers her proposition. Taking a three-week trip with a complete stranger doesn’t sound particularly appealing, but neither does spending Christmas with his sister and her handsy girlfriend. 

“Fine,” he says, looking up at Cana. “But where the hell am I gonna find someone else named Natsuki?” 

* * *

Gray hates to admit it, but Cana is right. It takes a few days after Cana posts the information online, but eventually someone reaches out. They exchange a few messages, and after Gray decides that she seems normal enough, he agrees to have her come along. 

Now it’s a week later and he’s sitting in the airport, rubbing his face and looking down at his phone for the hundredth time. 

_I’ll meet you outside security,_ the message says. _Pink hair, I’m pretty hard to miss ;)_

Gray’s stomach twists as he fidgets, looking at the clock on his phone six times before finally registering the time. The flight doesn’t leave for two hours, but Gray’s been here since check-in opened. He knows he’s being overly cautious, but it’s better than missing the flight. Plus, he’s anxious as hell about meeting someone new. 

Nearly half an hour and another cup of coffee later, Gray spots a flash of bright pink through the crowd. He stands up, tossing his cup into the trash and taking a deep breath before walking over. She’s about the same height as him, hair pulled back into a short ponytail, dark sweatshirt and jeans that definitely flatter her— 

“Hey!” 

_Oh shit,_ Gray thinks as the figure turns around and smiles at him. _She’s a guy._

“Um.” Gray stops, his mind still stuck on _tight jeans, nice ass,_ and continuing to apply it to the guy who is standing in front of him. “Hey? You’re… Natsuki?” 

“Natsu,” the man corrects, sticking out his hand. “I mean, Natsuki is what it says on here—“ he holds up his passport and waves it “—but if you call me that, I might have to kill you.” Natsu grins. “You’re Gray?” 

“Yeah,” Gray says slowly, brain still attempting to catch up to the fact that the pretty girl that he’d envisioned has been replaced by a guy – who is, admittedly, still very pretty. Natsu’s smile is warm and the bright pink of his ponytail stands out against his dark brown skin. His nails are painted dark purple, he’s definitely wearing eyeliner, and he has more piercings than Gray has ever seen on one person. A brightly colored tattoo peeks out from the collar of Natsu’s shirt and winds its way up his neck and behind his ear. 

“You okay?” Natsu asks, frowning. Gray realizes with a start that he’s been staring, and snaps his mouth shut. 

“Fine, yeah,” he says quickly, holding out his hand. Natsu’s fingers are warm against his, and Gray realizes that his tattoos extend halfway down his knuckles. “Sorry, I- god, I feel dumb now, I, uh, I thought you were a girl.” 

Instead of looking offended, Natsu laughs. “It’s okay,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s… it was a girl’s name. Before. I, uh, probably should’ve said something. Sorry.” 

“Oh! No, it’s—fine, it’s fine,” Gray insists. His eyes drop down to the multitude of buttons pinned to Natsu’s bag, and realizes that one of them is white, blue, and pink. The trans flag. 

_Ah,_ Gray thinks. That makes more sense. 

Gray reaches into his pocket and pulls out the ticket with Natsu’s name printed on it. “Honestly, I’m just amazed I could find someone with the same name as her. It’s not very common.” 

Natsu takes the ticket, looking down at it and toying with his lip ring. “Ex, I’m assuming?” he asks as Gray gestures for them to head toward security. 

Gray nods. “Yeah.” He’s about to say, _it’s a long story,_ but it really isn’t. “We, uh... broke up after I bought the tickets.” Really, she had dumped him, but Natsu doesn’t need to know that. 

Natsu looks over at Gray as they hand their boarding passes to the security officer, but Gray keeps his eyes forward, wanting to avoid the look of pity. He’s surprised when Natsu touches his arm and gives it a gentle squeeze. 

“She’s an idiot,” Natsu says. “And she doesn’t deserve you.” 

Gray can feel his cheeks heat up and he looks away, focusing on the straps of his backpack. He’s not sure why the hell he’s so flustered. It’s probably because Natsu is nothing like what he was expecting, and he’s still trying to find his mental balance again. 

“It's her loss,” Natsu says, nudging Gray forward. “C’mon. Let’s go to Paris.” 

* * *

Gray is much, much cuter than Natsu had expected, and he can’t stop stealing glances as they settle into their seats on the plane. Gray’s movements are graceful and his smile is shy, occasionally hidden by the short dreadlocks that fall in his face. His skin is darker than Natsu’s, and he’s wearing a t-shirt with a World of Warcraft logo on it that Natsu finds endearingly geeky. 

“Have you been to Paris before?” Natsu asks as they settle into their seats. He’s next to the window and he peeks out across the tarmac, watching the snow drift down from the dull sky. 

“Never,” Gray says, shaking his head as he tucks his backpack under the seat in front of him. When he shifts to do up his seatbelt, his thigh presses up against Natsu’s, and the touch is warm even through his jeans. It sparks something electric in Natsu’s chest. 

_Stop it,_ Natsu thinks. _You’ve known him for like... twenty minutes. Get a grip._

Natsu has always fallen in love hard and fast. It’s gotten him into trouble before, and he refuses to do it again. Gray is straight – Natsu is still embarrassed about the whole ‘forgetting to mention that he’s a guy’ thing – and Natsu’s not going to make the next three weeks awkward. 

“Have you?” 

Gray’s question takes a minute to register with Natsu, and he realizes that Gray’s still talking about Paris. 

“Oh, uh, no,” he says, doing up his own seatbelt. “I’ve never been on a plane before, actually.” 

“Well,” says Gray, “here’s hoping you don’t get motion sickness.” 

* * *

Natsu definitely gets motion sickness. 

Half an hour into the flight, everything starts feeling uncomfortable. It’s too hot, the pressure in his ears is overwhelming, and every time the plane hits a patch of turbulence, Natsu’s sure he’s going to either throw up or faint. 

“Are you okay?” Gray asks, gently touching Natsu’s shoulder. Natsu shakes his head and immediately regrets it as his stomach churns. 

“No,” Natsu groans, leaning forward and breathing deeply through his nose. “Are we almost there?” 

“We’ve still got six hours,” Gray says apologetically. Natsu swallows down an embarrassing whimper, pressing his forehead against the seat in front of him. He’s not sure he can make it six hours. 

Gray says something Natsu doesn’t quite catch, and then he takes Natsu’s hand, pressing something into it. 

“Someone had Gravol,” Gray says, pulling a water bottle out of his bag. He hands it to Natsu, who takes it gratefully and tosses the pills back, hoping they work quickly. “It usually makes me tired,” Gray says. “Maybe it’ll help you sleep.” 

“Here’s hoping,” Natsu says, wiping the cold sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. His cheeks are burning, but he’s not sure if it’s from embarrassment or the jolting of the plane. 

“Can I do anything to help?” Gray asks, hand on Natsu’s shoulder again. Natsu swallows hard, leaning forward again and taking deep breaths. When Gray’s thumb runs over his shoulder, Natsu sighs, leaning into the touch. There’s a moment of hesitation, and then Gray’s hand starts to move, rubbing comforting circles on Natsu’s back. 

“Thank you,” Natsu says, hands shaking as he grips his knees. Even through the nausea, Gray’s touch is thrilling, pulling Natsu deeper even though he knows better. 

_Goddamnit_ _,_ he thinks as he squeezes his eyes shut. _I am so screwed._


	2. planes, trains, and panic attacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gray and Natsu arrive in Paris, but it's more overwhelming than Natsu was expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Gratsu Bingo 2019  
> Prompt: time (zones)

Eventually, Natsu falls asleep with his forehead pressed to the seat in front of him. Gray hesitates – he can’t imagine it’s comfortable, so he tugs on Natsu’s shoulder to get him to lean back in his seat. Instead, Natsu mumbles something incoherent and tips sideways, head dropping to Gray’s shoulder.

Heat creeps into Gray’s cheeks as he realizes that his arm is now wrapped around Natsu, and he’s stuck like this unless he wants to push Natsu away and risk waking him up. Which he won’t do, because he’s not an asshole.

Gray ends up half-watching ‘Road to El Dorado,’ and half trying very hard not to focus on the way Natsu’s breathing against him. At some point, Natsu shifts so his face is pressed against Gray’s shoulder and grumbles in his sleep when the armrest digs into his stomach. Gray moves it up and Natsu curls up against him, tossing an arm across his stomach and making a happy, sleepy sound.

Gray’s just making sure Natsu’s comfortable, so he doesn’t throw up. That’s all.

Gray manages to doze off for a couple hours, and eventually wakes up when the captain announces their landing. Natsu, who is almost in Gray’s lap at this point, sleeps through the entire descent with a small smile on his lips. Gray feels bad waking him up from whatever dream he’s having. 

“We’re here,” he says softly, nudging Natsu out of his sleep as they taxi down the runway. Natsu grumbles, then sits up slowly and yawns. He looks confused for a second, then his eyes widen, and he quickly looks away from Gray, rubbing at the lines on his cheek from Gray’s sweater.

“Sorry,” he says.

“It’s okay,” Gray says. “You feeling better?”

Natsu nods. “Yeah,” he says. “Can’t believe I was out for the whole flight. You’re pretty comf—” He stops, looking down at his hands. “Uh, pretty nice. For—to let me sleep. On you.”

“Oh,” Gray says, mind stuck on the fact that Natsu was about to say ‘comfortable.’ “That’s… it’s fine.”

Natsu stretches as best he can in the tiny seat, and when his shirt rides up, it exposes a tattoo on his stomach. Gray can’t quite make it out, but it follows the curve of Natsu’s hipbone down to his—

“It’s a rabbit,” Natsu says, and Gray blinks when he realizes he’s staring. Natsu shuffles in his seat to give Gray a better view of the tattoo – it’s heavily stylized and drawn in bright red and black. “This one’s an otter,” Natsu adds, gesturing to his other hip.

“Um,” Gray says, because he suddenly can’t figure out how his tongue works. “Why, uh… why those? Animals?” 

Natsu grins at him, tugging his shirt back down. “They’re trickster spirits from Mi’kmaq folklore,” he explains. “My grampa used to tell me stories about them all the time – I got them when he passed away.”

“Oh,” Gray says. Part of him wants to run his fingers over the dark ink, and he’s not sure why. “That’s, um… good. Not—I don’t mean good that he passed, shit. No, I’m, uh, I’m sorry about that. I just meant the—that’s that cool reason to get them?”

Gray can feel heat creeping into his cheeks and is incredibly glad that he’s good at hiding when he’s blushing.

“Thanks,” Natsu says, and Gray can hear the amusement in his voice. “I’ll have to show you the rest of them later.”

An image of Natsu pulling his shirt off to show Gray the tattoo that curls up his neck and down to his fingers makes Gray’s cheeks burn hotter. “Um,” he says. “Good. Yes. That’s…”

Thankfully he’s cut off by the captain announcing their arrival at the gate, and his embarrassment is quickly replaced by awe.

They’re in Paris.

* * *

Paris is enormous.

The airport is loud and bright, and Natsu stares around them at the chaos with a feeling of wonder. Elation overrides the fog of confusion from his nap – as well as the time change – and Gray has to grab his arm several times to keep him from walking into things while he’s looking around.

Everything is perfect until they walk into the Métro station, and they immediately get separated.

 _Shit._ A flash of panic runs through Natsu when he looks behind him and Gray isn’t there – just a crowd of busy people he doesn’t recognize. He calls Gray’s name, but he can barely hear himself over the roar of the crowd and the announcements of departures and arrivals.

Heat creeps up the back of Natsu’s neck as he looks around frantically, trying to find Gray’s dark dreadlocks in the crowd. Gray had put a jacket on when they’d picked up their luggage, but Natsu can’t remember what color it is. Someone shouts behind Natsu and he jumps, fingers tightening around his backpack straps as he’s pushed forward by another scowling figure.

It’s too much. The lights seem brighter than before, and suddenly there’s more people, surging off the train as it pulls to a screeching stop. Everything smells like cigarette smoke and Natsu starts to feel dizzy, trying to suck in a breath as his heart slams against his chest.

“There you are.”

A hand closes around Natsu’s wrist and he’s about to pull away when he realizes it’s Gray. Relief washes over him as he takes a shaky breath, trying to ignore all the people crowding around them.

“Hey, are you okay?” Gray slips his fingers between Natsu’s and pulls him close, reaching out uncertainly with his other hand and squeezing Natsu’s arm. Natsu wants to say yes, but his heart is still pounding, so he just shakes his head and keeps himself as close to Gray as possible.

“C’mon,” Gray says gently, tugging on Natsu’s hand. “This one’s us.”

Gray doesn’t let go of Natsu’s hand, even once they’re standing on the train. Natsu doesn’t miss how he shifts so he’s between Natsu and everyone else, and Natsu presses himself up against the window so he can see where they’re going. Gray squeezes his hand, and Natsu focuses on the feel of Gray’s fingers instead of the sound of a thousand people around them.

They get lost three times before finally making it to their hotel, and when they finally find it and walk inside, Natsu lets out a huge sigh of relief. He lets go of Gray’s hand and sets his backpack on the floor, then leans against the check-in counter to keep his balance.

“We’ll be in the room soon,” Gray says, and the gentle cadence of his voice keeps Natsu grounded. Embarrassment creeps into his cheeks. He should have known better and taken an Ativan before getting off the plane, but he’d been too excited and still up on the high of his inconvenient crush on Gray.

“Sorry,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s okay,” Gray says. He touches Natsu’s arm, leaving his hand there awkwardly for a second before nodding and turning to the woman at the counter.

Natsu closes his eyes and takes several deep breaths. The relief of being away from the crowds and in a near-empty building expands in his chest, and with each exhale, he lets go of a bit more of the anxiety. He’s okay. He’s safe.

Gray and the woman at the check-in desk talk in the background as Natsu pulls out his phone to check the time. 8:37 p.m. Natsu’s pretty sure that’s around four in the morning back home. Even after the nap on the plane, he’s exhausted, and his neck is still sore from the awkward way he’d leaned on Gray. Not that he’s complaining, because waking up with Gray’s arm wrapped around him and his face pressed into the crook of Gray’s neck had been both embarrassing and incredibly comfortable. 

_“?” _

Gray’s question pulls Natsu out of his daydream and he frowns, looking over at the computer screen. The woman has the reservation pulled up and is pointing to the words _Aucun Changement_ printed in large letters at the top of the screen. 

“No change,” she says, shaking her head.

Gray sighs, looking over at Natsu. “I, uh… they can’t change the room,” he explains, cheeks flushing pink. “It’s, um… well, I booked it with my ex, so—”

 _“?” _Natsu guesses. Gray’s eyes widen in surprise and Natsu grins at him. _“,” _Natsu adds. _“.” _

Gray stares at Natsu for a few seconds before slowly nodding and turning back to the woman. _“,” _he says, reaching out for the keys. The woman looks between the two of them and for a second, Natsu thinks she might say something. But she shrugs, then reaches under the desk and pulls out two keycards, handing one to each of them.

 _“,” _she says, pointing down the hallway at the elevator. _“!” _

* * *

As soon as they walk into the hotel room, Natsu drops his suitcase on the floor and flops face-first onto the bed. He mumbles something unintelligible into the duvet, then hums happily as he kicks off his shoes and shimmies up toward the pillows. Gray stares at Natsu’s ass for a few seconds before realizing what he’s doing and looking away.

He’s never thought about dating a guy before, but Natsu’s starting to make it look pretty damn appealing. Or maybe it’s just Natsu. Either way, something’s going on, and Gray’s not sure how to feel about it.

“Are you okay?” he asks as he sets his suitcase on the side table. He can see the lights of the Eiffel Tower out the window, but he ignores them and sits down on the edge of the bed instead. Seeing Natsu’s panic on the Métro had been unsettling.

“Mm.” Natsu rolls over, rubbing his face and peeking up at Gray. His cheeks are still a bit red, but that could just be from the cold. “Sorry.”

“No, I didn’t mean for you to apologize,” Gray reassures him. “You just seemed pretty freaked out.”

Natsu makes a face. “I just get kinda overwhelmed sometimes? By crowds and stuff. I usually take something for the anxiety, but I wasn’t expecting that many people. Which is stupid, ‘cause it’s, y’know, Paris.”

“I’m not a huge fan of crowds either,” Gray admits, pulling his legs up onto the bed and tucking them under him. “We’ll just have to make sure we go to places when they’re not busy.” It takes a second for him to realize what he’s said, and he immediately feel his cheeks getting hot. “That’s—if you wanna go to things. With me, I mean. You don’t have to, we can just – I mean, I don’t know what you wanna do, but you don’t have to feel obligated to—”

“Gray.” Natsu reaches over and pokes his thigh. “You’re babbling.” He gives Gray a grin that shows off the tips of his pointy incisors. “Of course I wanna do stuff with you. That’s why we came here.” 

“…oh.”

A silence falls between them, but it isn’t awkward like Gray was expecting.

“Sorry about earlier,” he says eventually. “I, uh, didn’t realize you spoke French.” The shock of hearing Natsu speak perfect French with a slight, unfamiliar accent had done funny things to Gray’s stomach, but he’s fairly certain he’s over it now.

Natsu pushes himself up and tugs off his sweater. His shirt rides up again, showing off the tattoos on his hips and one up his ribs, and the funny feeling in Gray’s stomach immediately resurfaces.

“Yeah, I’m Métis,” Natsu says after he’s untangled his arms. “I speak a bit of Mi’kmaq too, with my grandma, but she’s getting pretty old, so she doesn’t remember much.”

“What about your parents?” Gray asks. He shifts to the side as Natsu tosses his hoodie over the edge of the bed, and when Natsu resettles, their knees touch.

“My n’mi – grandma – raised me,” Natsu replies, neatly dodging the question. Gray’s tempted to ask but doesn’t want to pry. “What about you? Is your family French?”

“One of my moms is Québecois,” Gray replies. “My other mom immigrated from Lebanon a couple years before I was born.”

“Sweet! Do you speak Arabic, too?”

Gray nods.

He’s surprised by how easy it is to fall into casual small talk about their lives. Gray learns that Natsu has an estranged older brother, and a little sister that he helped to raise. He’s taking the Indigenous Social Work program at McGill University in Montréal, he loves RuPaul’s Drag Race, he has a cat named Happy, and he has seventeen tattoos.

Gray doesn’t contribute much to the conversation, just listens and watches as Natsu tells his stories. Natsu never stops moving – his gestures are as wide as his smile, and he gives small touches as he talks. Sometimes he nudges Gray’s knee, other times he taps the back of Gray’s arm or rests his hand on Gray’s thigh to emphasize a point. Each time the touch feels electric, and Gray finds himself shifting closer so that Natsu will do it more often.

As the sun sets and the room fills with a golden glow, Natsu flops back onto the pillows, and eventually Gray joins him, trying to keep his cheeks from burning when Natsu’s ankle ends up resting over his. When they both finally fall asleep – still fully dressed – the warmth of Natsu’s fingers on his arm makes Gray feel more comfortable than he has in a long, long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Métis in Canada (/meɪˈtiː/; Canadian French: [meˈt͡sɪs]; European French: [meˈtis]; Michif: [mɪˈtʃɪf]) are specific cultural communities who trace their descent to First Nations and European settlers, primarily the French, in the early decades of colonisation. [Wikipedia definition was better than my summary ^_^]
> 
>  **French Translations**  
>  Tu n’as pas d’autre chambres? - You don't have any other rooms?  
> Seulement un lit, hein? - Only one bed, huh?  
> Pas de problème - No problem  
> T’es chanceux, je ne ronfle pas - You're lucky, I don't snore  
> D’accord - Okay  
> Cinquième étage - Fifth floor  
> Bienvenue à Paris - Welcome to Paris


	3. accidental cuddles and awkward flirting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paris is beautiful, Natsu is flirty, and Gray's not sure exactly where he stands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Gratsu Bingo 2019 (and late entry for Gratsu Week 2019)  
> Prompt: breathe

When Natsu wakes up the next morning, it takes him a few minutes to figure out where he is. Instead of the Christmas lights he has hung around his apartment, sunshine pours through a window that takes up half the opposite wall. The bed is three times larger than normal, and when Natsu tries to roll over, there’s an arm wrapped around his waist.

He looks down at the arm – dark brown skin and a leather bracelet around the wrist. Natsu frowns at it for a second before he remembers.

He’s in Paris with Gray.

It takes Natsu’s heart about 0.2 seconds to go from completely relaxed to something resembling a broken metronome. Gray’s pressed up against his back, one arm under the pillow and the other wrapped tightly around Natsu’s waist. His knee is tucked between Natsu’s legs, and he’s still fast asleep, breathing evenly.

Natsu holds as still as possible. If he moves, he’ll break the moment, and he wants to stay like this for as long as he can. The contentment that settles in his chest next to his pounding heart is unfamiliar and so very welcome. It’s been a long time since someone has held him like this.

Natsu lets out a soft, slow breath and relaxes back against Gray, hesitantly placing his hand over Gray’s on his stomach. Part of him feels guilty – Gray doesn’t know they’re cuddling, and Natsu’s not sure what he’d do if he did. Gray’s hard to read, and Natsu tends to hope for too much.

Natsu’s about to start overthinking everything when Gray makes the most adorable snuffling sound and nuzzles the back of Natsu’s neck, pulling him closer and letting out a contented sigh. A shiver runs through Natsu and he brushes his fingers over the back of Gray’s hand. Gray makes a happy sound, then yawns and mumbles something unintelligible as he starts to stir.

“Hey,” Natsu says gently, wondering if he should quickly extricate himself from Gray’s embrace before he wakes up for real. Gray grumbles something that sounds vaguely like _morning,_ then yawns and presses his forehead to the back of Natsu’s shoulder.

Gray is clearly not a morning person.

Natsu’s just about to lift Gray’s arm off him when Gray mumbles, “time issit?”

“No idea,” Natsu says. “We’re in Paris, remember?”

“Paris?” Gray’s voice is suddenly a lot clearer, and suddenly the blissful morning moment is over. He pulls his arm away from Natsu and sits up, rubbing his face and looking around the room. When his gaze finally lands back on Natsu, his expression transforms from confused to mortified. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” he says, pushing himself up off the bed and looking anywhere but at Natsu.

“It’s okay,” Natsu reassures him, sitting up and stretching. As comfortable as cuddling was, sleeping in his clothes has left him feeling grungy. “I think we both were pretty tired.”

“I didn’t mean to...” Gray starts again, but Natsu waves him off.

“You hungry?” he asks, changing the subject. Gray’s still looking at the floor, but he nods, crossing his arms over his chest. “Good, ‘cause I’m starving. Just lemme shower and we can go find somewhere to eat.”

Gray doesn’t say anything when Natsu grabs his clothes and heads into the bathroom, but as Natsu closes the door, he hears an embarrassed groan and a whisper of _what the hell?_

* * *

Gray spends the rest of the day feeling off-kilter. The embarrassed flush never seems to leave his cheeks, and every time he looks at Natsu, he feels like he’s falling.

It turns to be just past noon by the time they leave the hotel, so they eat lunch at a little café where a breakfast of croissants and espresso make Gray feel a bit more human. But when Natsu’s foot touches his under the table, Gray gets that feeling again like he can’t quite breathe.

“So,” Natsu says, brushing the last of the crumbs off his lap, “what’s the plan for today?”

The question catches Gray off guard. He did have things planned, for when the trip was with Suki – romantic stuff like the Pont des Arts and the Champs-Élysées. There’s a part of him that whispers, _you could still do those things with Natsu._

“I…” Gray fiddles with the handle of his coffee cup. There’s so much going on in his mind right now that it’s hard to figure out what he wants to say. He can’t decide whether he wants to hold Natsu’s hand, or if they should go their separate ways for the day so Gray can figure out why the hell he suddenly feels like he’s fourteen with a crush on the pretty girl in homeroom. “We can do whatever,” he says eventually. “If you wanna—you don’t have to hang out with me if you don’t want to.”

Natsu kicks Gray’s shin gently under the table, and when Gray looks up, Natsu raises an eyebrow at him. “Do you really think I want to be alone in a place like this after yesterday?” he asks. Gray frowns, then realizes Natsu’s referring to his anxiety attack on the Métro.

“Oh,” he says. Natsu’s foot is still touching his shin. “Sorry, I didn’t…” He can’t make a complete sentence and he bites the inside of his cheek in frustration. 

The waitress appears next to their table and reaches out for their plates with a smile. _“?”_ she asks.

 _“,”_ Natsu says, handing her his empty plate. “We actually just got here yesterday,” he continues in French.

“Oh!” The woman smiles, looking between them. “Have you been to Le Marais?” Both of them shake their head and she gives them a conspiratorial smile that Gray doesn’t quite understand. “You should go. I think you will enjoy it.”

* * *

Le Marais turns out to be the gay district of Paris. Gray stares at the rainbow flag hanging in the window of the boutique store next to them, and the overwhelmed sensation in his chest returns full force. A couple walks past them – two young women, holding hands and laughing at each other – as Christmas music plays from the speakers near the storefront.

“Guess she was onto me,” Natsu says, nudging Gray’s shoulder. When Gray looks back at him, Natsu gestures to the rainbow pin on his bag and laughs. Gray can see something else in Natsu’s expression, but he’s not quite sure what it is. “You okay?” Natsu asks.

“Yeah,” Gray says, shaking his head and pulling his coat closer around him. It’s chilly, and tiny flakes of snow are beginning to drift down around them. Natsu’s cheeks are pink from the cold, and his eyes are bright with excitement.

“C’mon,” he says, grabbing Gray’s arm and pulling him down the street.

They spend the better part of the afternoon wandering in and out of stores that sell everything from designer jeans to antique lamps. Natsu’s enthusiasm is contagious, and by the time they stop for dinner, Gray’s feeling a lot less flustered.

The restaurant is a cozy placed called _L’Aller Retour,_ and when the waiter offers up wine with their meal, they both raise their eyebrows at each other, then grin and shrug – why not? 

After a couple of glasses, Gray’s feeling warm and bubbly and brave.

“… so the other tattoo artist ended up holding my hand ‘cause it hurt like a bitch,” Natsu says, tipping his wine glass toward Gray. He gestures vaguely to his hip and Gray feels himself blush.

“That’s… it’s a sensitive spot,” he says, cheeks tingling as his mind slips to an image of him running his fingers over Natsu’s tattoos. Or his tongue. Maybe both.

“Yeah,” Natsu says, and when he licks a stray drop of wine off his lower lip, Gray realizes he’s staring.

“Shit,” he says softly, then shakes his head. “Sorry, I’m a bit…”

Natsu laughs, and his foot brushes Gray’s leg under the table again. “’s okay,” he says, downing the last of his wine and waving for the waiter. “Me too.”

* * *

By the time they get back to the hotel it’s nearly midnight, and they’re both still tipsy. Natsu trips over himself trying to kick his shoes off, and when Gray grabs his arm to pull him upright, he dissolves into a fit of laughter.

“Sorry,” he giggles, grabbing Gray’s shoulder. He tugs off his jacket and tosses it on the bed, then pulls off his sweater too. Then he turns back to Gray and raises an eyebrow.

“What?” Gray asks, sitting down on the bed and shrugging off his own jacket.

“I said I’d show you the rest,” Natsu says, and Gray’s mind blanks out for a few seconds before Natsu clarifies, “tattoos. The rest of my tattoos.”

“Oh,” Gray says, because it’s the only word he can get out around the tightness in his throat. He nods, and Natsu gives him an unreadable look before grabbing the hem of his shirt and tugging it over his head.

The tattoos on Natsu’s hips dip down under his jeans, and curl around his ribs to the middle of his back. He’s wearing a binder over his chest, but above it, an intricate set of flowers are inked across his collarbone. They continue up both sides of his neck and behind his ears, and two colorful dragons wind down both of his arms.

The tattoos are gorgeous, and so is Natsu, and before Gray can stop himself, he says it out loud.

Natsu looks surprised, then gives Gray a shy smile. “Thanks,” he says. A yawn appears to catch him off guard and he stretches, back arching as he brings his hands up over his head. Gray knows he should look away, but instead he traces the muscles in Natsu’s back with his eyes, wishing it were his fingertips instead.

Maybe it could be. Part of him is tempted to reach out, to touch Natsu, to see what it’s like to kiss a boy because he never has but now, he really, really wants to. But he holds himself back because they’ve only just met, and if Gray fucks this up, they’re stuck with each other for three weeks and things could get awkward.

“I’ll be right back,” Natsu says, tossing a quick glance at Gray before heading to the bathroom.

As soon as Natsu closes the door, Gray shakes his head to try and clear the tipsy fog from his mind. He pushes himself up the bed, shoving the pile of pillows around into something comfortable before yawning and laying back into it. He’s warm and content, and by the time Natsu comes back, he’s nearly asleep.

“You should get changed,” Natsu comments, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He’s wearing boxers and a baggy t-shirt now, and his hair is down around his shoulders instead of pulled back into a ponytail. “You’re gonna regret sleeping in jeans again.”

Gray grumbles, but eventually undoes his jeans and kicks them onto the floor, then turns onto his side and tucks his arm under the pillow. He had been planning on putting pillows between them tonight, so he didn’t embarrass himself by waking up wrapped around Natsu again, but when Natsu flops down onto the bed, Gray can’t bring himself to put a barrier between them.

“I forgot my brush,” Natsu says, rolling to face Gray and running his fingers through his hair. They catch on a knot and he tugs at it, making a face. “It’s gonna be a mess tomorrow.”

The tipsy buzz still flowing through Gray’s mind makes him brave enough to reach out and touch Natsu’s hair. Natsu looks surprised, then gives Gray a soft smile and shifts closer.

“’Okay?” Gray asks quietly, combing his fingers through Natsu’s hair. He gently untangles it, then tucks it behind Natsu’s ear. He’s pretty sure he’s crossing a line right now, but Natsu doesn’t seem to mind.

“Yeah,” Natsu says sleepily, curling up so his knees are just touching Gray’s and his hands are tucked under the pillow. “’s nice.”

“Okay,” Gray says as Natsu yawns and makes a soft, contented sound.

Natsu falls asleep quickly, but Gray stays awake, combing his fingers through Natsu’s hair and matching his breathing to the rise and fall of Natsu’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **French Translations**
> 
> Avez-vous aimér? - Did you enjoy it?  
> Oui, c’était très bon = Yes, it was really good


	4. heights, hope and holding hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsu and Gray go sightseeing in Paris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I hope you enjoy some dumb gays in Paris. ^-^

“You’re telling me that we came _all the way to Paris,_ and you don’t want to go up the Eiffel Tower?”

They’re three days into the trip before they make it to the famous landmark that Gray’s been trying so hard to avoid. Natsu stands in front of him, hands on his hips, eyebrow raised in disbelief. Gray groans, tipping his head up and taking in the tower – all one thousand feet of it. A large crowd mills around the bottom, waiting for the elevator to take them up.

“You can go ahead,” Gray grumbles, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I was gonna check out the catacombs, we can—”

“No way,” Natsu argues, shaking his head. “You can’t come to Paris and _not_ go up the Eiffel Tower.”

Before Gray can protest again, Natsu reaches out and grabs his hand, pulling him toward the lineup. Gray’s stomach leaps at the contact – even through his fingerless gloves, Natsu’s hands are warm.

“I’m not…” Gray protests feebly, but Natsu isn’t listening.

Halfway up the elevator, Gray starts to feel dizzy. The lights below them spread across the city, and if he wasn’t terrified, he might have found it pretty. Instead, he leans heavily against the wall, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Gray?” 

“’m fine,” Gray mumbles, letting out a shaky breath.

Natsu moves closer to him, blocking his view of the city. “God, I’m an idiot,” Natsu says. “You’re scared of heights.”

“Just… a bit,” Gray says, opening his eyes and trying to give Natsu a reassuring smile. “It’s okay, I’m—I swear, I’m fine.”

“Uhuh.” Natsu reaches out and grabs Gray’s hand, slipping his fingers between Gray’s and squeezing hard. The sudden way Gray’s stomach flips is almost enough to distract him from the vertigo. “We can go back down, I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s…”

The elevator pulls to a stop and the doors slide open, and Gray peeks around Natsu’s shoulder at the soft tendrils of a brilliant sunset. Everyone else starts filing out around them, and Gray’s eyes flick back to Natsu’s regretful face.

“I’m sor—”

“C’mon,” Gray interrupts. He takes a deep breath, then squeezes Natsu’s hand and walks out of the elevator.

The observation deck is solid under his feet, but the wall is nothing more than thin bits of crisscrossed metal. The city sprawls out beneath them – houses and museums and millions of tiny lights. It’s gorgeous and breathtaking, and absolutely terrifying.

“C’mon, we can go back down,” Natsu says gently, tugging on Gray’s hand. “I feel like an idiot.”

Gray shakes his head, taking a tentative step forward. “Just… don’t let go,” he says, hoping Natsu doesn’t catch the flush that crawls up the back of his neck. Natsu squeezes his hand reassuringly, moving slowly toward the edge of the observation deck.

The look of childlike wonder on Natsu’s face is enough to distract Gray from his fear – as long as he keeps his eyes on Natsu and _not_ on the very-far-away ground, he’ll be fine.

Natsu’s eyes are wide as he leans forward, gripping the metal with one hand as he peers down at the view. “It’s gorgeous,” he whispers.

_So are you,_ Gray thinks, eyes trained on the smile that lights up Natsu’s entire face. His hair is highlighted by the evening sun, nearly matching the soft pink clouds that drift through the sky.

Gray’s only known Natsu for less than a week, and he’s already the brightest thing in Gray’s life.

“C’mere,” Natsu says, and when Natsu turns to Gray with that brilliant smile, Gray’s chest lights up, warm and content. “You’ve gotta see this. I’ll hold onto you, promise.”

“I…” Gray hesitates, but Natsu reaches out both hands, gripping Gray’s forearms and tugging him forward gently. When Gray reaches the railing, Natsu wraps an arm around his waist.

“Oh,” Gray says, looking down at the city while his heart slams against his chest. He’s not sure if it’s adrenaline or the smell of Natsu’s shampoo that’s making his heart skip like this. Probably both. “Wow.”

Natsu’s right – the view _is_ gorgeous. Gray can see the river and the boats that run along the canal; the glass pyramid of the Louvre; the quaint street where they’d had breakfast at the café this morning. He can even see the bright colors of their hotel.

“See?” Natsu says, leaning closer and holding Gray tighter. “Worth it, right?”

Gray takes a deep breath as the last rays of sunlight dip below the horizon. Then he leans into Natsu and nods. “Yeah,” he says softly. “Yeah, it is.”

* * *

The rest of the week flies by in a whirlwind of shy smiles, tipsy flirting and sight-seeing. They work their way through the list that Gray had made before the trip – the Louvre, the Arc de Triomphe, the Notre Dame Cathedral. They even take a day trip to Versailles, and Gray falls asleep against Natsu on the way home, curled up with his head resting on Natsu’s shoulder. Natsu cherishes that hour more than all the time they’d spent at the palace.

One day Natsu even braves the catacombs. The excited look on Gray’s face when he mentions the underground tunnels is enough for Natsu to attempt to ignore his claustrophobia and drag himself down there with Gray. Being surrounded by skulls and femurs is terrifying, but it’s an excuse to hold Gray’s hand, which Natsu gladly takes.

“It wasn’t as bad as I expected,” he says later when they’re curled up on the hotel bed after a couple of beers. “Just… dark. And full of dead people.”

When he shudders and Gray responds with a tipsy giggle, Natsu feels bright and warm. Gray’s laugh is his new favorite sound, and he’ll do anything to hear it.

“I still feel bad,” Gray insists, shaking his head and leaning back against the pile of pillows they’ve shoved against the headboard. Natsu’s lying on his back, squinting at Gray upside-down.

“I owed you after the Eiffel Tower,” Natsu says. “We’re even now.”

Gray snorts as Natsu shuffles out of his jeans, kicking them to the end of the bed. Moving this way puts his head against Gray’s thigh, and when Gray’s fingers find their way into Natsu’s hair, Natsu sighs happily.

Natsu still hasn’t bought a new brush, and he doesn’t plan to.

“You wanna go to _la Place de la Bastille_ tomorrow?” Gray asks as he slowly untangles the knots in Natsu’s hair. He starts with one hand, the other still holding his drink, but eventually sets the bottle down on the nightstand and nudges Natsu closer.

“What’s that?” Natsu asks, shifting until his head is completely resting on Gray’s thigh. Gray is warm and still smells like crisp snow, and it takes everything Natsu has not to turn onto his side and pull Gray toward him.

“It’s where the column is,” Gray explains. When he slips into French, something happy bubbles low in Natsu’s stomach. _“….” _

* * *

Natsu tips his head and hums quietly as Gray tells him about the French Revolution. Most of Gray’s friends aren’t into history like he is, and they tend to tune him out when he gets into it like this. But Gray can tell that even with his eyes closed, Natsu is listening intently.

As Gray talks, he keeps combing his fingers through Natsu’s hair. He hasn’t braided hair since Cana was little, but muscle memory kicks in and he starts to twist pieces of Natsu’s hair into loose plaits before brushing it out and starting over. At one point his finger slips behind Natsu’s ear and Natsu sighs happily, tipping his head to the side. His tattoo starts there – a green leaf with a small purple flower beside it. Gray touches it carefully, then trails his fingers down across the tattoo until his hand reaches Natsu’s shoulder.

Natsu shifts against Gray’s leg, and part of Gray wants to trace the lines further, run his fingertips across Natsu’s collarbone, brush against the hollow of his throat. They’re so close and Natsu is so warm against him, and Gray wants so badly to keep touching.

Something holds him back, though, and he brings his hands back to Natsu’s hair instead.

* * *

When they wake up the next morning, the pillows are pushed away, and Gray’s arm is wrapped around Natsu’s waist again. There’s a soft, quiet moment where they’re both wide awake and completely aware of themselves, but Gray still doesn’t move his arm away. They just breathe together, warm skin against warm skin, until Natsu shifts onto his back and Gray sits up quickly, mumbling something before heading to the washroom.

Gray doesn’t say anything about it later – neither of them do. They don’t mention the handholding, or the way Gray’s fingers feel in Natsu’s hair, or how Natsu’s foot is always hooked around Gray’s ankle under their table in restaurants. There are times when Gray’s tempted – when Natsu’s eyes are bright and they’re huddled against each other on the Métro, or when Natsu’s laughing with his head thrown back and his nose scrunched up.

Gray doesn’t, though. There’s a shy uncertainty in the way he cares for Natsu, and he’s wary of the way Natsu makes it hard to breathe. He’s never felt like this before – not even with Suki, who Gray had thought he was going to marry at one point. Every minute with Natsu is like being at the top of the Eiffel Tower all over again, thrilling and brilliant and absolutely terrifying.

And Gray won’t do anything to break that. 

* * *

**Gray:** _attachment.jpg_

**Lyon:** _…_

**Lyon:** _Is that the Eiffel tower???_

**Lyon:** _You hate heights! What the hell are you doing up there?_

**Gray:** _It’s not really that bad._

**Lyon:** _Bitch, you wouldn’t even come up the gondola with us in Jasper last year, don’t tell me the EIFFEL TOWER is ‘not really that bad.’_

**Gray:** _attachment.jpg_

**Gray:** _I couldn’t come to Paris and not go up here. The view is really nice!_

**Lyon:** _Is the view the city, or that guy’s ass?_

Gray scowls, looking back at the photo he’d sent Lyon. Natsu’s in it, leaning against the railing and staring down at the lights flickering across Paris. He’s smiling, cheeks pink from the cold, chin tucked into his scarf.

It’s Gray’s favorite picture. 

Gray’s about to text Lyon and tell him to fuck the hell off when someone appears behind him, covering his eyes and laughing. It’s Natsu, of course, and Gray nearly melts back against him, catching himself at the last minute and grabbing Natsu’s wrists instead.

“Whatcha doin’?” Natsu asks, peeking over Gray’s shoulder at his phone. Gray quickly closes the message window and shoves the phone back into his pocket.

“Texting my brother,” he says quickly, turning around. “He…” Gray trails off as he stares at Natsu, who looks… gorgeous. He’s wearing a dark blue button-down under a black sports jacket, open at the collar to show off the tattoo running up the side of his neck. He’s changed out of his ripped jeans and into darker pants that are much more fitted and has traded his combat boots for dress shoes. He’s even sort of tamed his wild hair.

“Told you I can clean up,” Natsu says, grinning and bopping Gray on the nose.

Gray can’t stop staring. “Are you wearing eyeliner?” he asks eventually. It’s the stupidest question he could have asked, but Natsu doesn’t seem to mind.

“Yep.”

It looks amazing on him – his eyes are even brighter green when they’re rimmed with black, and Gray’s fairly certain he’s wearing lip gloss, too.

_Fuck,_ Gray thinks. _I’m so screwed._

“You look pretty good too,” Natsu says, reaching out and brushing something off the collar of Gray’s sweater. Natsu’s fingers brush his neck and Gray bites back the undignified sound that tries to escape him. “Think we’re presentable enough for Christmas Eve dinner at _Ciel de Paris?”_

* * *

_Ciel de Paris_ is the most romantic restaurant Gray has ever been to. Everything is sleek and modern – mood lights on the ceiling, a long, curved bar in the center, and tables lining the floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook the Eiffel Tower.

Everything on the menu is wildly unfamiliar – they both raise eyebrows at each other as they read over items like _déclinaison de foie gras_ and _l’excellence ïodée_. Eventually Gray orders them both a glass of wine and something called _torteaux Saint Jacques_ as a starter and hopes for the best.

“You doing okay?” Natsu nudges Gray’s foot under the table and Gray blinks, realizing he’s been staring again. Natsu’s eyes are bright as he stares at Gray over the rim of his wine glass, then tips his head to the window. They’re sitting right next to it, and Gray’s been trying his best to not think about the almost seven-hundred-foot drop to the ground below.

“Yeah,” he says, keeping his hand steady enough to take another sip of his wine. He’s not as scared as he’d been when they were up the Eiffel Tower, and he’s not sure if it’s the alcohol making him brave, or the fact that he’s sitting across from the most gorgeous person he’s ever been on a date with.

Is this a date? God, he wants it to be.

“Hey.” Natsu reaches across the table slowly and takes Gray’s hand in his, squeezing gently. “Don’t look out there. Look at me.”

_I can definitely do that,_ Gray thinks as he nods.

“It’s not that bad,” he says, trying to keep his voice steady. “I’m… okay.”

“Why the hell you made reservations at a seven-hundred-foot-tall restaurant when you’re terrified of heights is beyond me,” Natsu teases. “This girl must’ve been pretty special.”

There’s something in Natsu’s voice that Gray can’t quite place. He sets down his wine glass, then shakes his head.

“I thought she was,” he says, staring down at the tattooed dragon that curls across Natsu’s hand and over his index finger. “But, uh…” He looks back up at Natsu, who’s still gazing at Gray over his wine glass, expression uncertain. “I’m glad I’m with you,” Gray says in a rush, putting more emphasis on the ‘you’ than is strictly necessary.

Natsu looks surprised, then bites his lip and looks down at their hands, slowly running his thumb over Gray’s knuckles.

“Me too,” he says softly. “Best Christmas I’ve had in… well, ever.”

Gray swallows, feeling heat creep up to his cheeks as they stare at each other, still holding hands.

The appearance of the waiter with their food breaks the moment, and Gray lets go of Natsu’s hand reluctantly while they both inspect the dish in front of them. Natsu frowns at it, then looks up at Gray and raises his eyebrow.

“This is probably going to make me sound like the most uncultured person in the world,” Natsu says, picking up his fork and poking at the food, “but I have no idea what this is.”

Gray’s about to reply that he doesn’t either when Natsu scoops up a bit of what looks like fish eggs and raises and eyebrow at it suspiciously. Then he grins at Gray and holds out the fork for him. A hot flush immediately creeps up the back of Gray’s neck at the intimate gesture, but he sets his wine glass down and leans forward, taking the bite. He’s pretty sure Natsu’s cheeks are pink, too.

“How is it?” Natsu asks, and Gray isn’t talking about the food when he answers, “Amazing.”

It’s only been seven days and Gray’s never kissed a boy, but Gray’s one hundred percent certain he’s in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been to Paris in a while, and I certainly haven't been to [Ciel de Paris](http://www.cieldeparis.com/en/), but all the info and food is from their menu so it's legit! I didn't translate any of the food because it's all ridiculous anyway. I did go up the Eiffel Tower a long time ago and the view of the sunset was stunning.


	5. decisions and determination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Eve is full of surprises.

By the time dinner is over and they’re sitting with a pile of empty plates between them, Natsu’s made up his mind.

He’s going to kiss Gray tonight.

“That was... interesting,” Gray says, setting his napkin on the table and downing the last of his wine. Natsu’s foot finds the back of Gray’s leg under the table and Natsu’s stomach leaps when he hears the hitch in Gray’s breath.

“Did you like it?” Natsu asks, and Gray stares at him. “The food,” Natsu clarifies, dragging the toe of his boot along the back of Gray’s calf.

“Oh,” Gray says. “It, um…” Natsu can’t look away from the curve of Gray’s throat as he swallows. “Yeah.” Gray looks away from Natsu at the stack of plates. “I’ve never, uh... had caviar before.” Natsu makes a face and Gray laughs. “Yeah, it was kinda gross,” he admits.

“Glad you don’t think I’m completely uncivilized,” Natsu says, grinning and nudging Gray’s foot under the table. “This—” He gestures around them at the lights and crystal cups and people in suits “—isn’t exactly the kind of place that I ever expected to end up. I don’t even _own_ a tie.”

“You don’t need a tie,” Gray says. “You look…” He trails off and Natsu quickly looks away, heat creeping into his cheeks. “Amazing,” Gray says eventually. He fiddles with his napkin, keeping his eyes on the table.

“Oh,” Natsu says. He looks down at his hands, at the tattoos across his knuckles and the frayed edges of his sleeves, and the dark polish on his fingernails. The sensation of inadequacy that’s been tingling under his skin all night dissolves slowly as Gray’s words hang in the air between them. “Thanks.”

Gray glances up at Natsu, giving him a shy smile, and Natsu bumps his shin again before standing up. “Let’s get outta here,” he says, nodding toward the door.

It’s just the two of them in the elevator, and as it starts to descend, Natsu feels Gray tense. The walls aren’t glass like the restaurant, but they _are_ fifty-six floors above the ground. Natsu steps closer and rests his hand lightly in the small of Gray’s back.

“You okay?” he asks, stomach jumping when Gray leans back into the touch.

“Yeah,” Gray says, tipping his head to look at Natsu and give him the same shy smile as earlier. Heat flushes to Natsu’s cheeks, and he’s ready to push Gray up against the wall and kiss them until they’re both dizzy when the elevator dings and the door slides open.

“C’mon,” Gray says as he steps out into the lobby. When he turns back to Natsu, the lights outside make a soft halo around his hair, and Natsu’s sure Gray can hear his heart pounding as he stares.

_Later,_ he thinks as he pushes the door open and they both step out into the cold. _I’ll kiss him later, but it’s going to be tonight._

* * *

The warmth of Natsu’s hand on Gray’s back doesn’t fade when they leave the elevator and separate to walk down the street. Despite the late hour, it’s still busy, and the lights of the city are bright around them as they make their way through the crowd. It’s colder than it was on the way to the restaurant, and Gray shivers.

“You should have brought your mittens,” Natsu says when Gray blows on his hands to warm them. Gray nods, hunching his shoulders against the wind. 

“I forgot them at the hotel,” he says, trying to pull the sleeves of his jacket down over his fingers. “Didn’t expect it to be this cold.”

“It _is_ December,” Natsu teases. “Here.” He tugs off one of his gloves and holds it out for Gray.

“Are you—”

“Yes,” Natsu says, reaching out and grabbing Gray’s wrist. Gray’s heart stutters at the contact, and when Natsu pulls him closer and starts to slide his glove onto Gray’s hand, Gray prays that Natsu can’t feel his pulse slamming under his fingertips.

“Thanks,” Gray manages. Then he looks at his other bare hand and frowns. Natsu gives him a grin, then takes Gray’s hand, tucking them both into his pocket.

“Better?” he asks. Gray swallows and he stares at Natsu’s pocket for a second before nodding. “Good.” Natsu squeezes his hand gently, then tugs on his arm and heads off down the street.

It’s crowded, and Natsu keeps Gray close to him, using his gentle grip on Gray’s hand to guide him around lampposts and between couples laughing under the Christmas lights. The wine bubbling in Gray’s head makes him warm and comfortable, and it feels natural to slip his fingers between Natsu’s, savoring the soft hitch in Natsu’s breath when Gray runs a thumb over his knuckles.

As they step off the path and down toward the river, Natsu’s eyes widen and his expression slips into that same look of wonder that he’d had at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Gray can’t look away from it.

“This is amazing,” Natsu breathes, tugging Gray down to the barrier that separates them from the river. It’s snowing lightly, tiny white flakes drifting through the streetlights and dusting across the water. Christmas lights hang from the awning above them, pale and bright against the dark of the sky. 

“Thank you,” Natsu says softly. Gray shifts closer to him, pressing against his shoulder. He’s comfortably warm, now – a combination of the champagne and the heat that Natsu radiates.

“For what?” he asks.

“This,” Natsu replies, tipping his head back and looking up at the sky. The moon is blunt, cutting through the sky and falling in thin, silver ribbons across the water. It brightens Natsu’s face when he turns to Gray and grins. “Guess what?” he asks.

“What?”

“’s Christmas.”

Gray squints at the clock across the river. Natsu’s right – it's 12:02 a.m.

“I guess it is,” he says softly. Natsu’s smiling at him, hair sticking out from under his toque, cheeks flushed pink from the cold. Gray’s stomach flips, just like it did when he peeked over the edge of the Eiffel Tower. He can’t tell if it’s because Natsu’s just as pretty as the view of Paris, or because Gray’s just as terrified of heights as he is of what he’s about to do.

Probably a bit of both.

“Merry Christmas,” he says softly, then leans in and kisses Natsu.

Natsu immediately kisses back like he’s been waiting for Gray to do this since they met. Maybe he has. Either way, he’s soft and warm, and he quickly takes charge, pushing Gray gently back against the railing as he tips his head and runs his tongue over Gray’s bottom lip.

Gray’s skin sparks under Natsu’s fingertips, cheeks flushing hot as Natsu’s hands slide up his arms. They’re both moving, surging against each other as tiny white flakes melt on their cheeks.

Gray slips his hands under Natsu’s jacket, touching the small of Natsu’s back and pulling him closer, shivering when Natsu’s tongue slides tentatively against his, like a question.

_Yes,_ Gray thinks, _always yes._ He feels light and a bit unreal, like he can’t quite get enough air, but he really doesn’t care because he’s finally kissing Natsu, and it’s exactly as good as he’d imagined.

Eventually they break apart and Natsu presses his forehead to Gray’s, breathing shakily. “Hey,” he says softly, rubbing their noses together.

“Hey,” Gray says, exhaling as he wraps both arms around Natsu’s waist and holds him tight.

They’re quiet for a minute. The only sound is the soft flow of the river behind them, and footsteps on the bridge. Everything else is muffled and calm under the snow and the dark winter sky.

“So,” Natsu says eventually. He pulls back and looks at Gray with wide, dark eyes. “That, uh—”

“I really like you,” Gray interrupts. His cheeks are burning, and it’s not just from the rush of kissing Natsu. “I’m happy you’re here. I mean, here in Paris and also just… with me.” The words tumble out of him in a rush and he feels Natsu’s fingers tighten on his forearms as he keeps going. “I didn’t think—I mean, I’d hoped, but I didn’t want to, y’know, assume, and I’m… really bad at this. Talking, I mean, and the—”

“Gray.” Natsu touches his chin, tips his head up until they’re looking at each other. “I really like you, too.”

Gray can’t stop the smile that creeps across his face as Natsu leans in and kisses him again. Then the wind picks up and Gray shivers, pulling Natsu closer.

“Wanna go warm up?” Natsu asks, pressing another kiss to Gray’s cheek. “I think there’s a Métro station near here.”

“Yeah,” Gray says, stomach leaping with excitement and anticipation. Natsu leans back and takes Gray’s hand again, squeezing gently and then nodding back toward the street.

“C’mon,” he says, eyes bright in the moonlight. “Let’s go home.”

* * *

They’re barely back in the room before Natsu’s hands are on Gray’s arms and they’re kissing again. Gray stumbles back against the bed, pushing himself up on one elbow as Natsu separates from him for just a second to throw his jacket on the floor.

“Off,” Natsu says, tugging at the laces of Gray’s boots and eventually tossing them aside. Gray shifts back onto the bed and Natsu follows, straddling Gray’s thighs leaning over him, hands on either side of his head.

“What?” Gray asks as Natsu’s eyes search his face. Natsu laughs, shaking his head and leaning down to kiss Gray again.

“Nothin’,” he says between presses of their lips. “Just wanted to do this since I saw you at the— _mmn_ —the airport.”

A thrill runs through Gray, sparking in his stomach and travelling down his arms until every touch feels electric. Natsu’s mouth is hot and so’s his skin, and Gray can’t choose where to touch so he settles for everywhere.

“Gray,” Natsu whispers against his lips, moving one of his hands up so he can cup Gray’s cheek. Gray can’t quite breathe, and not sure he minds. He traces a path up Natsu’s spine and across his shoulder blades until he can slip his fingers into Natsu’s hair. “Gray,” Natsu says again, and Gray breathes him in, tugging gently at his hair until his neck is exposed and Gray can move his kisses there.

“I wanna…” He exhales, pushing himself up on one elbow and kissing just under Natsu’s ear. Natsu makes a soft, pleading sound and tips his head to the side, leaving Gray with a view of dark brown skin and the bright ink that colors it.

This time, instead of fingertips, Gray traces the curve of Natsu’s tattoo with his lips and tongue, pressing kisses to each flower petal and scraping his teeth along the delicate leaves. He can feel the sounds Natsu’s making, taste the shapes his name makes in the vibrations under his lips.

There are so many things Gray wants to tell Natsu – _you’re gorgeous, I love your smile, you’ve made my life brighter, I’ve never felt this way with anyone before and I never want to stop._ But the words are stuck behind the frantic pounding of his heart so instead he keeps kissing and touching and pulling Natsu closer.

“C’mere,” he murmurs against Natsu’s skin, grabbing his hips and shifting until Natsu’s lying on his back and Gray’s settled between his legs, fingers resting on the hem of Natsu’s shirt. “Can I…”

Natsu sits up just far enough to tug off his shirt, tossing it to the side and humming contentedly when Gray pushes him gently back onto the bed.

Gray stares down at Natsu. He’s gorgeous – hair bright against the dark sheets, lip caught between his teeth, eyes wide and wanting. He’s wearing a binder again so Gray runs his hands across Natsu’s ribs instead, tracing each tattoo until he’s touching the ones on Natsu’s hips that he’s wanted to kiss all week.

“Can I?” he asks, brushing his thumb over the bright ink. When Natsu nods, Gray slowly leans down and presses a kiss to Natsu’s hip. He hears Natsu’s sharp intake of breath, feels it beneath his lips as he kisses across the tattoo. When Natsu reaches down and touches the back of his hand, Gray slides their fingers together and presses them against Natsu’s other hip, squeezing gently as he keeps kissing.

“Gray,” Natsu whispers again, and Gray thinks he could listen to Natsu say his name forever.

Gray kisses Natsu for a long, long time. He traces the outline of both tattoos across Natsu’s hips; kisses the soft curve of his stomach and the hollow of Natsu’s throat where he can feel Natsu’s frantic heartbeat beneath his lips. Eventually Natsu takes over, tugging Gray’s shirt off so they’re touching in as many places as possible and he can draw soft patterns across Gray’s shoulder blades with his fingertips.

When they finally come up for air, panting and trembling, it feels like it’s been hours. Natsu’s smile is wide, and he’s backlit by the stars and the bright lights of the Eiffel Tower that shine through the window. 

“Gimme a sec,” he says, kissing Gray’s nose before sliding over to the edge of the bed. He turns away from Gray, tugging the binder over his head and pulling his t-shirt on instead. Then he rolls back over to Gray and pulls him close.

Exhaustion suddenly takes over Gray’s body and a yawn catches him by surprise. Natsu laughs, tucking his knee between Gray’s legs and wrapping an arm around Gray’s waist. “We should probably sleep.”

“Mm.” Gray rubs his face, then brings his hand up to run his fingers through Natsu’s hair. He presses his forehead to Natsu’s, kissing his cheek as he shifts as close as possible.

“You’re...” Gray trails off, because while there are a hundred words he could use to describe Natsu, he can’t think of any while Natsu is this close to him. “I really...”

“I know,” Natsu says, tucking his head under Gray’s chin and sighing happily. “Me too.”

* * *

When Gray wakes up the next morning, Natsu is still curled up against him, gentle fingers tracing patterns on Gray’s bare stomach.

“Hey, you,” Natsu says as Gray yawns and rubs his face. “Sleep okay?”

“Mm.” Gray stretches, pressing himself back into the pillows and then looking up at Natsu. His hair is sticking up in every direction, and there’s a crease on his cheek from the sheets. “Your hair is ridiculous,” Gray says, reaching up and running his fingers through it.

“You like it,” Natsu teases, tipping his head to the side and kissing Gray’s wrist.

“I do,” Gray says, and Natsu’s grin turns into a soft, fond smile. It makes Gray’s chest fill with tiny bubbles. “I like you, too.”

Natsu runs his thumb across Gray’s cheek, then curls his fingers around the back of Gray’s neck and leans in to kiss him. It’s soft, almost tentative compared to the night before, but Gray can still feel the weight of it. Natsu’s touch is sweet and purposeful, and it feels like a new beginning. A promise.

One that Gray intends to keep.

When he pulls back, the morning sun spills through the window, highlighting the freckles across Natsu’s cheeks and the bright green of his eyes. “Merry Christmas,” Gray says softly, brushing a few wayward strands of hair out of Natsu’s face. “What do you wanna do today?”

Natsu grins, flopping back against the pillows next to Gray. “We’ve done enough sightseeing this week,” he says, pulling Gray close and kissing him again. “I think we should spend today in bed.”


	6. hearts and home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsu and Gray spend their last few weeks in Paris before returning home as a couple.

They spend all of Christmas in bed, half-clothed and sleepy, trading soft touches and kisses and quiet words meant only for each other. When Gray wakes slowly the next day, wrapped around Natsu with their legs tangled together and Natsu’s hand in his, there’s a warmth in Gray’s chest that he hasn’t felt in a long, long time. 

“Hey,” Natsu murmurs sleepily as Gray pulls him close, pressing a soft kiss to the back of his neck.

“Mornin’,” Gray says, lips tracing the words against Natsu’s skin. _“?” _

“Mmm,” Natsu says, then rolls onto his back, stretching and humming happily when Gray’s hand slips under his shirt and splays across his stomach. “I’m really glad this wasn’t just a dream.”

Gray laughs, pushing himself up on his elbow and drawing lazy patterns up Natsu’s ribs with his fingertips. “Me too,” he admits. He’s mesmerized by the soft smattering of freckles across Natsu’s nose, and the way his skin turns gold in the sunlight spilling across the bed.

“Mmmm.” Natsu reaches up and pulls Gray down for a soft, sweet kiss, then brushes their noses together and pulls back. “As much as I’d love to spend the rest of the week in bed, I think I need coffee.”

Gray hums in agreement, pressing another kiss to Natsu’s forehead before sitting up and stretching. He quickly realizes he’s not wearing a shirt but before he can feel awkward about it, Natsu’s lips brush against the top of his shoulder.

“Thought you wanted to get up,” Gray murmurs, tipping his head to the side as a warm arm wraps around his waist and pulls him close. Natsu kisses slowly across Gray’s shoulder, each press of his lips gentle and deliberate, like he’s trying to memorize the way Gray feels against him.

“I do,” Natsu agrees, rubbing his thumb in circles over Gray’s hip, _“?” _

“Both,” Gray says, torn between curling back up under the duvet, and forcing himself to go shower. Despite Natsu’s gentle touches, showering eventually wins out, and he stands self-consciously, glad that he’s still wearing his sweatpants. “I’m gonna, uh…”

Natsu looks up at Gray, head tipped to the side, hair messy and cheeks pink, too-big shirt hanging off one shoulder. It’s almost too much for Gray, and he quickly looks away, grabbing his phone from the side table and darting away to the bathroom.

* * *

They end up back at the same café, with the same waitress, and Natsu doesn’t miss the sly grin she gives him when she sees that they’re holding hands. Gray stares at his breakfast with a shy smile on his face, peeking up at Natsu occasionally as a red flush creeps across his cheeks.

“You’re adorable,” Natsu says around a bite of his croissant, catching Gray’s ankle with his foot under the table. Gray’s face turns an even darker shade of red, but he doesn’t stop smiling.

After breakfast, Natsu leads Gray down the street away from the restaurant.

“Where are we going?” Gray asks, frowning.

“Surprise,” is all Natsu will say.

They end up taking the Métro, which is surprisingly crowded for the day after Christmas. It’s standing room only, and a fond sense of relief flows through Natsu when Gray pulls him close and shields him from the crowd.

“Okay?” Gray murmurs in his ear, thumb rubbing soothing circles over the back of Natsu’s neck. Natsu nods, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to Gray’s shoulder.

“Thanks,” he mumbles into Gray’s jacket. He feels safe here, in Gray’s arms – like they’re the only two people and he’s not suffocating in the crowd.

Leaving the Métro station is a relief, and Natsu eagerly pulls Gray down the street until they’re standing outside a building draped with Christmas lights and a sign that says _Café des Chats._

“A cat café?” Gray asks, eyes widening as Natsu pushes the door open. It’s warm and cozy inside, with dark blue walls and an eclectic mix of furniture. A slim, Siamese cat with wide blue eyes hops lazily down from one of the tables and saunters over to them, rubbing itself against Gray’s legs.

“You said you liked cats,” Natsu said as Gray crouched down, reaching out his hand for the cat to sniff. “I thought you might—”

“This is amazing,” Gray breathes as the cat rubs its face against his fingers.

Natsu orders them another coffee as he watches Gray settle onto one of the couches, smiling when two other cats immediately hop up and rub themselves against him. He looks entranced, gazing adoringly at the cat that climbs into his lap as he runs a gentle finger across its nose.

“I used to have a cat,” he says quietly once Natsu returns with their coffee and sits down next to him. “She was my mom’s. Her name was Snowflake.”

Natsu hesitates before gently asking, “What happened?”

Gray doesn’t answer right away. The cat in his lap kneads his sweater for a bit, then turns in several circles and curls up with its tail over its nose. Gray runs his fingers through her fur.

“I’m adopted,” he says eventually. “My parents died when I was eight. My mom – the one from Lebanon – was best friends with my dad, so when he died, she and her wife adopted me.” Natsu makes a sad sound and rubs his thumb over the back of Gray’s hand. “It was a fire; Snowflake was with them.”

“I’m so sorry,” Natsu murmurs, slipping their fingers together. Gray gives him a sad half-smile.

“Thanks. I miss them a lot.” He scratches the cat behind its ears, and Natsu can hear it purring. “I love my moms, though; they’re amazing. And they had three other kids already, so I’ve got brothers and sisters now, which is cool. It just hurts some days more than others.”

“I know,” Natsu says. Gray looks at him and Natsu adds, “My parents aren’t around either.” He sighs, looking down at their joined hands. “They left when I was little, they had… issues, and I’ve lived with my gramma for a long time. Both Wendy and I. Which is better than living with my parents, because they aren’t safe people to be around, but I still miss them?”

Gray nods, tipping his head against Natsu’s. “It sucks,” he says.

They’re quiet for a while, listening to the rumble of the cat in Gray’s lap, and eventually Gray says, “I’ve actually been thinking about getting a kitten.”

“I have a cat,” Natsu says. Gray looks up at him and Natsu immediately turns pink. “Not—I didn’t mean like, _living_ … just, you could visit him? He’d like you.” 

Gray laughs, squeezing Natsu’s hand and nodding. “Sounds good,” he says. “It’s a date.”

* * *

When they get back to the hotel that evening, Gray takes his time kicking off his boots and shrugging off his coat. When he finally turns to Natsu, his expression is uncertain.

“What’s wrong?” Natsu asks gently. He takes Gray’s hands and sits down on the bed, pulling Gray close as he runs his thumbs over Gray’s knuckles.

“I…” Gray chews his lip and lets out a quiet sigh before admitting, “I’ve never dated a guy before.” He looks up at Natsu. “That’s what this… we’re…”

“Yeah,” Natsu says, squeezing Gray’s hands. “I want you to be my boyfriend. Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” Gray says, looking back down at their hands. “Yeah, I… I just…”

Natsu shifts backward on the bed, pulling Gray after him until they’re lying on their sides facing each other, knees touching, hands clasped between them. “I really, really like you,” Natsu says, bringing his other hand up to touch Gray’s cheek. “And we can take this as slow as you want, okay?”

Gray nods, and Natsu slowly runs his thumb across the anxious tension in Gray’s jaw. “I thought…” Gray hesitates. “I never really thought about—I’d never liked a guy, before you?”

Natsu smiles, shifting closer and nudging his knee between Gray’s legs. “Guess I’m special, then,” he teases. He expects Gray to laugh, or to blush or stammer. What he doesn’t expect is for Gray to meet his eyes and whisper, “You are.”

“Oh.” It’s Natsu’s turn to blush now, and he leans in to touch his forehead to Gray’s. “You… you too.”

Gray looks like he might say something else, but instead he kisses Natsu, drawing him in with a cautious enthusiasm like he can’t quite believe this is real. Natsu moves against him eagerly, sliding his hand down Gray’s back and tracing the shape of his ribs, opening up to Gray in a way he never has with anyone before.

When Gray eventually pulls back, a dizzy happiness bubbles in Natsu’s chest, and he almost feels like crying from the force of it.

“Can we… just, maybe, keep doing…” Gray gestures between them and Natsu nods, rubbing his thumb over Gray’s hipbone.

“Yeah,” he says softly. “Yeah, we can keep doing this.” He kisses Gray again, then murmurs against his lips, “We can do whatever you want.”

* * *

The trip comes to an end much too soon, but after three weeks of living out of a suitcase, Gray is eager to get home and sleep in his own bed. Or maybe Natsu’s bed. They haven’t talked about it yet – about what their relationship will look like once they’re not in each other’s immediate orbit every day.

When the hotel concierge checks them out of the hotel, she nods at their joined hands and smiles. _“,” _she says, and Gray manages to stammer out a quick, _“,”_ before they head out to the taxi.

The airport is crowded, but Natsu remembers to take an Ativan this time. Gray holds his hand tightly, and by the time they’re on the plane, he’s adorably sleepy.

“Can I sleep on you again?” he asks, tipping his head against Gray’s shoulder and giving him a goofy smile. When Gray wraps his arm around Natsu and kisses the top of his head, Natsu waves at one of the flight attendants and whispers, _“.”_

He falls asleep before they’re over the ocean, curled up and snoring with an arm across Gray’s stomach. “He’s very sweet,” the stewardess says when she returns with the snack cart. “You’re lucky.”

“Yeah,” Gray says, staring down at the tattoos across the back of Natsu’s hands. “I am.”

* * *

“Gray!”

The busy crowd in the Arrivals area of the Montréal airport parts and Cana appears, darting between people until she can pull Gray into a hug. He sighs happily, wrapping an arm around her.

“Hey, you,” he says, kissing her cheek.

“Merry belated Christmas,” Cana says, pulling back and squeezing Gray’s arm. “How was the…” She trails off, realizing that Natsu is standing just behind Gray – and that they’re holding hands. “Oh?” she says, raising an eyebrow at Gray.

“You must be Cana,” Natsu says, letting go of Gray’s hand and reaching out to shake Cana’s instead. “I’m Natsu.”

“I saw lots of pictures of you,” Cana says, grinning at him. “So you’re the lucky one who got stuck with my brother for three weeks, huh?”

“I am.” Natsu shifts his backpack on his shoulder and looks back at Gray with a shy smile. “It was really nice.”

Before Cana can ask any embarrassing questions – especially in the middle of the airport – Gray grabs Natsu’s hand again and quickly says, “Yes, we’re dating, no, you can’t ask any questions about it.”

“I called it!” Lucy says, appearing behind Cana and wrapping an arm around her waist. “Cana wasn’t convinced because you’ve never—”

“I _said_ no questions,” Gray grumbles as Natsu laughs.

“You’re adorable,” Cana reassures him, then nods toward the airport doors. “Shall we?”

Gray turns to Natsu, realizing that he’d never asked what Natsu’s plans were now that they were back home. “Do you—what’re you…”

“I was gonna call a cab to get home,” Natsu says, but he looks reluctant. Gray shakes his head.

“Don’t be silly,” he says, tugging on Natsu’s hand. “We can drive you.” A disappointed sensation spreads through him at the thought of being apart from Natsu after all their time together – he’s not quite ready to say goodbye, even if it would only be temporary. “Actually,” he says, staring down at their hands, “Would you—do you wanna come over for a bit?”

Natsu brightens, smile spreading across his face and lighting up his eyes. “Yeah,” he says, leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to Gray’s cheek. “Yeah, I’d really like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **French Translations**
> 
> As-tu bien dormi? = Did you sleep well?  
> mais t’es irrésistible. Est-ce que je veux des becs, ou du café? - but you're irresistible. Do I want kisses, or coffee?  
> Félicitations = Congratulations  
> Merci, bonne journée = Thanks, have a good day  
> C'est mon chum = He's my boyfriend ['chum' is colloquial in Québec]


	7. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsu helps Gray feel more comfortable with being intimate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might be a bit more 'mature' than 'teen' but I'm not going to change the whole story rating. It's very mild, fluffy smut. 
> 
> I'm really sad that this story is over! Thanks to everyone who followed it and sent me such lovely comments, you're all fantastic and I appreciate every one of you. <3

Gray kisses Natsu slowly, tongue drawing over his lips and fingers exploring the muscles of Natsu’s shoulders over his shirt. They’re pressed together on Gray’s bed; Natsu’s knee tucked between Gray’s legs, Natsu’s hands in Gray’s hair. Natsu shivers as Gray runs gentle fingers down his spine, slipping under his shirt and splaying across his lower back.

Natsu hums against Gray’s lips and pulls him closer until they’re pressed chest-to-chest, touching in as many places as possible. Every movement is slow and purposeful; Gray traces the contours of Natsu’s body like lines on a map he hasn’t yet explored. His fingertips draw rivers across Natsu’s stomach, mountain ranges over his ribs, oceans under the curve of his breast.

Natsu breathes Gray in as they kiss, making soft sounds when Gray’s hands hit somewhere particularly sensitive. When Gray’s hand stops just short of Natsu’s chest, Natsu pulls back and looks at him.

“It’s okay,” he says, pressing their foreheads together. “You can keep touching.”

“Even here?” Gray asks, brushing his fingertips gently up the side of Natsu’s breast. The tentative touch makes Natsu’s breath stutter as he nods.

“Yeah,” he says, grabbing Gray’s hip and pulling him close until he can feel Gray, hard against his thigh. “I like it.”

Gray keeps rubbing the underside of Natsu’s breast with his thumb, and Natsu can feel the hesitation in the movement. He lets go of Gray’s hip and brings a hand up to his face instead, tucking a stray hair behind his ear.

“What’s wrong?”

Gray shakes his head, and Natsu can tell that he’s trying to hide a blush. “’s stupid,” he mutters. He doesn’t look like he believes the words.

“Talk to me,” Natsu says gently, and when he tries to move away, Gray’s fingers splay across his ribs to hold him there. “I promise it’s not stupid. Is it body stuff?”

Gray nods and Natsu sighs, running his fingers over the back of Gray’s neck. It’s been over a month, and every time they make out, Gray’s cautious, not quite getting his hands where Natsu wants him. Natsu knows it’s Gray’s first time with someone like him, so he’s been patient, but right now, he really, really wants Gray to keep touching him.

“I’ve never been with a guy before,” Gray says eventually, keeping his eyes on Natsu’s shoulder. He chews his lip. “And then… I don’t wanna…”

“Wanna what?” Natsu encourages.

“I don’t wanna make you feel like a girl,” Gray says, voice so soft that Natsu can barely hear it. “’cause you’re not, and I know that, I just—I’ve only been with girls, and I feel like I’m being like I was with them, but you’re not like that. I just don’t know what else to… to do, and if you like that? Or you want something else?”

Natsu can’t help the soft laugh that escapes him, and he kisses Gray’s forehead. A warmth swells in his chest as he nudges Gray’s chin up until they’re looking at each other.

“You don’t make me feel like a girl,” he says. “And I haven’t been with anyone since before I came out, so… I don’t really know what I want, I guess. My body hasn’t changed, and I have, but… I like it when you touch me like this.”

He nudges the hand that’s on his breast and gives Gray a meaningful look. Gray looks like he would rather melt into the duvet than have this conversation, and the embarrassed scrunch of his nose is so endearing that Natsu has to kiss it.

“I like it too,” Gray says, and Natsu can tell that he’s struggling with the words. “And I wanna… I want this. I want to have sex with you. And I don’t wanna fuck it up because…” He peeks up at Natsu. “I like you. A lot. And I want it to be good for you.”

“It will be,” Natsu promises, pressing a soft, sweet kiss to Gray’s lips. “’cause I really, really like you too.”

Gray sighs against him, and with another gentle nudge from Natsu, slips his hand up until his thumb brushes across Natsu’s nipple. Natsu hums happily, running his hand back down to Gray’s hip and pulling him close.

Gray’s touch is still tentative, but he keeps going, rubbing his thumb over Natsu’s nipple as he caresses Natsu’s breast. A quiet moan passes between them as Natsu explores Gray’s mouth with his tongue, sliding his hand into the back of Gray’s boxers and pulling him close.

Natsu can feel Gray getting hard again against his thigh, and after a minute, Gray’s hand slips down to the hem of Natsu’s shirt. “Can I?” he asks, and when Natsu nods, he sits up and pulls both of their shirts off, tossing them into a pile on the floor.

Natsu feels shy, suddenly. Nobody’s seen him without his shirt or binder on in a long time, and he’s not prepared for the way Gray’s gaze pins him to the bed. Gray nudges Natsu onto his back and settles between his legs, thumbs rubbing over the tattoos on Natsu’s hips.

“You’re gorgeous,” Gray murmurs, running a hand up the flowers that decorate Natsu’s ribs. This time he doesn’t stop, and when he leans forward and takes Natsu’s nipple into his mouth, Natsu gasps at the sudden warmth.

“Gray,” he says softly, cupping the back of Gray’s neck. Gray’s mouth is soft and warm, and his hand moves down to Natsu’s boxers, dipping carefully below the waistband as Natsu squirms underneath him. Natsu bunches the fabric of the duvet between his fingers when Gray’s fingers move lower, waiting for his exhaled _please_ before slipping between his legs.

“Okay?” Gray murmurs against Natsu’s skin as he kisses up to Natsu’s collarbone, then his throat, then below his ear.

“Yeah,” Natsu breathes, pulling Gray in for a kiss. “Yeah, fingers are okay. Please.”

Gray makes a deep sound in the back of his throat, fingers following the same pattern between Natsu’s legs that his lips make against Natsu’s. Natsu gasps, grip tightening on the back of Gray’s neck as he brings his other hand up and fumbles at the waistband of Gray’s boxers.

“Can I—”

“Yes.”

When Natsu touches Gray, the sound that Gray makes is addictive – quiet and needy and almost the shape of Natsu’s name. Natsu tries to take it slow, to be gentle and seductive the way that Gray is with him, but Gray’s fingers are in him and on him and he can’t think, never mind take his time. Eventually they both kick off their boxers, tired of the barriers between them, and all Natsu can feel is hot skin and soft touches, and a deep, tingling warmth that spreads through him as they breathe each other in.

“Natsu,” Gray gasps, forehead touching Natsu’s as his hips jerk into Natsu’s hand. “I… _hahh,_ I wanna…” He brushes his lips against Natsu’s cheek, trembling as he whispers, “I wanna use my mouth. Can I?”

There’s no hesitation in Natsu’s, “yes,” and before he can even breathe, Gray’s shifted down, nudging Natsu’s thighs apart as he trails kisses between Natsu’s breasts, down his stomach, across his hips.

Then he moves between Natsu’s legs and Natsu cries out, tipping his head back into the pillow and trembling as Gray’s tongue works over him and into him. “Fuck,” Natsu whimpers, reaching down and running his fingers across Gray’s temple as Gray keeps going, warm and eager. “Fuck, yes, that’s…”

Gray holds Natsu’s hip down with one hand, and the other moves to join his tongue, touching all the places that make Natsu shake and gasp and roll further towards the edge. The low thrum that’s been building in him breaks into a roar like the tide, and all he can say is Gray’s name as the waves break over him again and again.

“Shit,” Natsu sighs, slumping back against the pillow as Gray slowly draws back, pressing a kiss to Natsu’s hip before sitting up slowly. He still looks a little hesitant, and Natsu lets out a shaky laugh as he grabs Gray’s hand.

“Don’t look like that,” he says, shaking his head. “You’re amazing.”

The uncertainty on Gray’s face slowly shifts into shy satisfaction as he runs his thumb back and forth across Natsu’s hip. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Natsu lets himself catch his breath, savoring the warmth of Gray’s hand on his skin, then nudges Gray back so he can sit up and slide off the bed. Gray frowns at him, but Natsu just grins and tugs him up, too.

“C’mere,” Natsu says softly, kissing Gray’s neck as they press together. Gray sighs shakily, still hard against Natsu’s stomach, and Natsu runs his fingers down Gray’s ribs, counting each of them before settling his hands on Gray’s hips. Then Natsu pulls back and slowly sinks down to his knees.

“You okay?” he asks, watching Gray’s eyes widen as he brings a hand to Natsu’s hair. Gray nods, brushing a thumb across Natsu’s cheek before Natsu leans forward and takes him in.

Gray is surprisingly loud for someone so shy. Natsu can tell he’s trying to keep quiet, but every movement from Natsu draws out moans and gasps that fill the tiny room. It’s been a while since Natsu’s done this, but between his hands and his mouth, he brings Gray closer and closer until his thighs tense and his fingers tighten in Natsu’s hair.

“Wow,” Gray murmurs as Natsu slowly stands up, nudging Gray back until they’re both in the middle of the bed again, curled up against each other. Natsu hums in agreement, drifting his fingertips up and down Gray’s stomach as Gray pulls him close and kisses his forehead.

“Told you,” Natsu says softly.

“Told me what?”

“That it’d be good.”

Gray huffs out a quiet laugh. “I’d say that was better than good,” he murmurs as he brushes his fingers through Natsu’s hair. The sensation is familiar and comforting, and Natsu sighs contentedly.

“’s true,” he says as he reaches down and pulls the blanket up to cover them both. “You’re amazing.” He can almost _hear_ Gray’s cheeks turning pink.

A soft, tranquil silence fills the room for a moment, and Natsu tips his head so that he can see the snow tumbling in soft flakes past the window. He makes a happy sound, cuddling closer to Gray and kissing his chest.

“I really…” Gray’s words are so quiet that Natsu feels them more than hears them. When he looks up, Gray won’t meet his eyes – he just curls a piece of Natsu’s hair around his finger and chews his lip.

“Really what?” Natsu asks gently.

“I…” Gray closes his eyes, then whispers, “I love you.”

The words hit Natsu in the chest, filling him with a hundred memories of their time together. The airport, Gray’s uncertain smile, waking up against him on the plane, holding hands through the crowds of Paris. Tipsy smiles, hair braiding, talking quietly in French. Watching the sun set from the Eiffel Tower. Gray’s smile under the lights of the restaurant. Kissing each other as the snow fell in soft flakes around them and everything finally felt right.

Natsu smiles because he _knows_ – has known since Gray handed him the ticket at the airport two months ago and they started this adventure together – and now he finally gets to say it out loud.

“Gray,” he says softly as he leans in and kisses Gray, holding him as close as possible. “I love you, too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the fluffiest, sappiest thing I've ever written and I'm very happy with it. I hope you enjoyed! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays ^-^


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